Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Something has to change

There has been a lot of talk lately about the suicides over being teased (or tortured to more accurately describe it) about being gay. It absolutely breaks my heart. Being a teenager is hard enough and then to be bullied to the point that taking your own life is easier than going on, is so terribly awful. There is something very wrong with this. The bullying that goes on now is a far cry from the innocent teasing of long ago. A person's sexuality should not matter, regardless of who they are. Some of the most wonderful people I know are gay. Being gay does not make them any less than those who are straight. They are people and absolutely no different in that aspect. Who you are attracted to and who you love does not define who you are and does not make you any less, any different or any less worthy of respect and basic human rights. I will never understand why to some people it is such a big deal. I just can't wrap my mind around why, in this day and age it is such a big deal. We're all different, yet we're all the same. Why not embrace individuality rather than shun it? Why not embrace people for who they are deep inside and not for who they choose to love? Being gay or homosexual, whichever you prefer to call it, is much more widely accepted now, but we still have a long way to go.

What it all comes down to is there needs to be a change. Bullying needs to stop. Schools need to have a NO TOLERANCE policy when it comes to the serious bullying so many students have to endure. This thought extends beyond just the bullying of gay students. Many teens are bullied just as bad for various other reasons. It is NOT okay and something needs to be done to protect these kids. I was one of those students bullied to the point of feeling that ending my life would be easier. I credit a lot of my strength to keep on going to my boyfriend at the time. It may sound a bit silly, but he went through the same things and we were there for one another. I was lucky to have that one person at the time to help keep me strong. Being followed around the school, hit, beat on, teased, thrown down the stairs etc. was so incredibly hard. Even 10+ years later, I look back and it pains me to think about it. Back then, even the death threats I received via the internet were completely disregarded by law enforcement. Perhaps my experiences helped shape the person I am today, making me a more compassionate and tolerant individual. I am grateful for the positive that came from such negative experiences. However, I am one of the lucky ones who walked away from it okay in the end. Too many do not.

Parents, teens, schools, cities, law enforcement etc. all need to take a stand against this. This bullying is far more than innocent childhood bullying. It is down right cruelty. I have made efforts to try to become part of some sort of support for teens who go through this and have yet to really get responses back from the organizations I have contacted. There needs to be more support out there! The support that there is available needs to be better about responding and accepting help from those wanting to give it and be part of making a change.

Something has to change and we ALL have a responsibility to make some kind of effort to help. Whether it be teaching our children tolerance or being a shoulder for a hurting teen. Even if you don't think it effects you, this is something that effects everyone is some way, shape or form and we need to fix it. It's time for a big change.

I'm doing my part, right here at home, starting with my 5 children.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


This evening we had one of the beautiful sunsets we see here from time to time. I decided to take a few photo's. Beautiful sunsets like this and my children are the 2 things that can most often make me sit back and see the beauty that is around me. If only for a moment, I can see the beauty in things I often overlook and see details that I may have never seen before. During the sunset I studied the sky and looked at the details of the clouds. Things like that are just amazing sometimes. I need to take the time to stop and see the beauty around me a little more often. Maybe that's the answer to everything. My children are so happy and they see the beauty in everything, everywhere.

Different stages of the sunset this evening.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Finding my place

I've been struggling with finding where I fit in. Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be who I am and I'm happy with being different. I am happy with where I am as a wife and mother and the choices I've been making. So, I'm not struggling with anything in my little world, but I'm having a really hard time finding where I fit in, outside of my little world.

I've always been somewhat of a black sheep in general and have struggled with finding people I really click with. I'm finding this to be an issue even in the homeschool community. I've talked to many really nice homeschoolers. My problem is, I just don't really fit in with most of them either and I want to! So far, almost every homeschooler I've met or talked to are very religious. That does not bother me at all, but I've found that when they realize we are not a Christian family, it makes some uncomfortable and some others tend to shy away. I'm not put off by people being very religious or anything like that at all, I'm just not religious myself. I've noticed people who are starting to homeschool will reach out to others instead of me, even if they have less knowledge to offer in regards to schooling because of the religious aspect. I know it's not on purpose (now and then people will flat out judge me openly for my non-belief, but not too often), but it still bums me out a little bit. The Christian base aside, we're all doing the same thing! Educating our children. I know people want to talk to who they can relate the most to, so I can't fault anyone for it.

Here I am, still looking for my place. I have very unique ideals, views, opinions and beliefs. I fit into both sides of almost everything. I wont give up on finding where I belong though. I know there has to be others out there who feel this way as well.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The ER, Urgent Care and Starting Over

Last night we had a bit of a scare with Cameron. He broke out in terrible huge welts all over his mid section, thighs and neck. They progressively got worse pretty quickly. Tony took him to the Emergency Room and they were quick about taking blood, getting him on an IV, heart monitor and giving him meds to get control of the allergic reaction he was having. He was given Prednisone, Benadryl and Pepcid. The Pepcid spiked his heart rate to 165 and made him feel really sick. After they gave him meds for nausea and got everything under control over the next few hours he started to get better. After spending the night in the ER, he was discharged early in the morning with a prescription for Prednisone, Benadryl and an Epi Pen.

This afternoon Cameron's face started to break out in welts. I gave him both the Prednisone and Benadryl as instructed. Within an hour his whole face was swollen in welts and it was spreading quickly all over his whole body, so Tony brought him to Urgent Care (Nasan Medical, which is an AMAZING clinic!). He was again put on an IV, medicated, put on a heart monitor etc. We do not know what is causing this severe allergic reaction. The Dr. at Nasan suggested it it may be the second stage of his allergic reaction from the day before (I've never heard of that, but I'm not a Dr. so... who knows) which we think could possibly be a mustard allergy. They got control of his reaction, like they had the night before in the ER and discharged him after him spending the afternoon in their clinic.

This whole situation breaks my heart and frustrates me at the same time. My heart breaks for Cameron. He has been stuck with so many needles and pumped full of medication the past 2 days. I am frustrated because we don't know what caused this reaction. And VERY frustrated because his allergist (National Allergy, Asthma, & Urticaria Centers Of Charleston, P.A. - Patricia S. Gerber, MD.) is terrible (in my opinion) and has completely blown his allergies off. She has been so dismissive and very NON-proactive about everything, that we were already requesting a new Allergist before this mess happened. All of the tests they have done we have had to request. They did not even bother to run a blood allergy panel without us requesting it. They are the specialists, we shouldn't have to ask them to do their job. This whole severe mystery allergic reaction solidified to us that looking for a proactive allergist is the right choice. Not to sound dramatic, but my son could have died. He was close to going into anaphylactic shock. Things could have been so much worse and we don't even know if this is over yet. It's scary. I'm scared for him.

As much as I dread adding any more to Cameron's laundry list of allergies, we NEED to find out what is causing this as soon as possible. This is the most severe reaction he's ever had. This is dangerous. We need to start over completely with a new allergist and all new allergy panels.

This was Thursday night when the welts started. It become much worse than this. Today, his reaction was worst than the first night.