Friday, October 22, 2010

Our Tradition

Every year, my husband and I take all of the kids to the pumpkin patch before Halloween. Wherever we are living, we always find a place we can take the kids to pick out pumpkins. It has become a family tradition of ours and we all look forward to it every year. It's always a really great time for us to spend together. My husband and I love seeing how excited the kids get every year! Today we had planned a family day for us all to go to the pumpkin patch and then later the Aquarium (we have family passes we want to take advantage of lol). We didn't tell the kids what we were doing and they were all very excited when we got there. I really enjoy the time we all have together. It makes me happy.

Here are some pictures of our pumpkin adventures.

I love my family so very much. I'm so lucky to have each and every one of them.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Focus On Bullying

I'm blogging today for all of the kids who are being bullied. Not just the kids who are bullied for being gay, but those being bullied for ANY reason. The bullying crisis is finally getting attention, but the attention is specifically on the bullying of gay teens because of the publicity the recent suicides of gay teens is getting (one of them never came out as being gay, but he's still lumped in there). I'm glad there is a focus on the gay aspect, there absolutely needs to be more acceptance and tolerance. However, I feel as if the rest of the kids/teens being bullied just as badly for other reasons, are being forgotten about. They deserve people to fight for them too. The kids who are bullied because they aren't cool, because they dress funny, because they aren't as attractive as their peers feel they should be, because they are shy, because they aren't an acceptable color, etc. etc. etc. They ALL deserve to have someone fight for them too. How can a change truly be made when we're all preaching the acceptance of only one group?

Teen suicide is not new. Teen bullying is not new. Bullying to the degree that it is now, was even happening 10+ years ago. I lived it. Back then cyber-bullying wasn't even a crime, it didn't even have that name. Death threats I received via AIM were dismissed by the police without a second thought. I am so grateful that this terrible, often criminal bullying is finally getting public attention. However, it needs to have focus on all of it, not just 1 group being bullied. The straight girl who is dragged into the school bathroom by a group of girls and sexually assaulted just to humiliate her or the straight boy who is beat nearly unconscious just because he dresses different. Do they not deserve the same support and outrage for what is happening to them as the gay teens are receiving? They absolutely do.

We need to stop making them feel alone! So many of these teens already feel alone and now they are still not getting the support for their situation because they aren't gay. How is this any better than what people have done to the gay kids? It's not. The kids and teens who are suffering right now need our support. Every one of them. Not just one group of them. They ALL need to know that we will fight for them, they ALL need to know that we want to make a change and they ALL need to know that people care about them. Now is the time to give the support and fight for them all. They deserve what I did not have when I was in their place years ago.

To every one of you who feel alone right now, who feel like it's not worth going on, who feel like things will never get better... It WILL get better. I will fight for you. I love you. I was in that place as a teen. I went through it all during middle school and highschool. My schools had stuff who turned a blind eye to it and when my parents confronted the school it made everything worse. There are many things that happened to me that my parents never knew about because I knew I couldn't tell them or it'd get worse. I was dragged into bathrooms by girls and sexually assaulted to be humiliated. I was pushed down stairs. I had my hair pulled. I was spit at. I was called horrible things. I had rumors spread about me regularly that had no truth to them. I was kicked and punched. I was threatened on the internet. My highschool boyfriend and I even had a web page dedicated to us. I could go on, but I think you get the point. There were so many times I had wished I was dead. There were many times I seriously contemplated suicide because I thought it would never get better. The bullying and harassment was so bad that my parents pulled me out of school.

The day I signed out, a couple of the staff told me "Maybe if you tried to fit in a little, things wouldn't have been so bad." Thank You Mr. Brian S. Bentley and Ms. (Mrs?) Michelle Letendre, who are STILL part of the administration there at Diman Regional Vocational Technical Highschool, for making me do it on my own, because I just didn't try hard enough to fit in. You turned a blind eye because the popular students that bullied me were.. well.. popular. You let many of us be tortured. That's okay though. I went on to get my diploma, I've gone on to make the life I've always wanted for myself. I have used my experiences to make me a stronger, better and more compassionate person. I love who I am today and I'm in a much better place than a majority of the people who made my life so bad back then. Perhaps you should look back at all of the things you have let happen to students in your school and lets those things make you more compassionate people.

I am living proof that it gets better. What some of you are going through is not what your life will always be! You will go on and do great things. I found the strength somewhere and you can too. I'm so glad to be here and to watch my children grow. I'm so glad to be here to experience life. I'm so glad to be here to see it. You need to be here to see and experience all of the great things you have in store, whatever they may be. I want you to be here for it. It gets better.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon

This is the quote that came to mind this morning. Great quote huh? I thought so. Anyway... lets get to why this quote came to mind. First thing in the morning my husband made a quick run for some coffee. He not only brought home the coffee, but also a pregnancy test. He handed the test to me, much to my confusion and told me to go take it. I wondered why. We've been very careful and had been planning to have another baby in a few years, maybe after he's done with sea duty. Right now we're very upside down on our van, which is only a 7 passenger and we could use to be a little better financially. Overall, waiting was the best choice, so that's what we were doing. So, I go pee on this test, while snickering at my husband. There's no way I'm pregnant of course. I wash my hands and start to brush my teeth and I looked over at the test assuming it's little digital screen will read "NOT PREGNANT", because after all, why would I be? DUH. Much to my surprise it read "PREGNANT" holy sh*t! I walk out, probably with my jaw on the floor and handed the test to my husband. He just laughed and said "I knew it!"

*insert record scratch halt here* Hooooold on! I didn't think I was pregnant, why did he think I was pregnant? I asked him this. He pointed out my recent fatigue, nausea, complaining that the dog stinks even though she's had 2 baths this week alone and last, but not least, me wanting to eat pickles and peanut butter (yes together) out of the blue a few days ago. Now, why did these things not make ME think I was pregnant? Well... we weren't trying. We tried for the other 5. Possibly being pregnant was just not something that I even thought about.

After we discuss my being oblivious to these symptoms, I insist the test must have been defective and that he needed to go get another one. He ran out and bought a pack of generic "answer" tests, ya know.. to keep it cheap and all. I took another test probably about 1.5 hours after the first. I barely had enough pee, but I did it! I was determined the first test had to be wrong. After 3 minutes, this second test also indicated that I am pregnant. So here we are... most likely pregnant for #6.

On one hand I'm scared because he'll be going back to sea soon and we are going to have a tough time figuring out how to get a larger vehicle (because of being upside down on the van). On the other hand I'm thrilled because I really wanted more children! My husband is sharing the same feelings. We're happy/scared/excited/confused/thrilled/worried/ all at the same time. I know realistically this also means we will catch flack and get rude comments because 6 children is just too many to a lot of people. We hope that people can find happiness for us as well. We love our children and we care and provide for them well. That is most important to me. We are truly lucky.

We are a true example of "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".


If all goes well. We may have another member in our household come June 2011 :).

Thursday, October 7, 2010

What have they done to me!?

My little spawns have turned me into a mushy pile of... mush. How do they do this? They are masters of manipulation, those sneaky little buggers. If they were to get any cuter, I would just melt into a pile of goo and forever be rendered useless. These children can go from making me want to rip my hair out, to being so unbelievably, sickeningly sweet and adorable. Even my baby daughter is a master at this. I believe it's quite possible that I have the most cute/adorable/sweet/awesome/loving/caring/amazing/smart children on the planet. Seriously.

I type this as my 11 month old daughter is chewing on the tail of her stuffed cow and banging together 2 toys, thinking it's the coolest thing anyone has ever done, my 2 older boys are doing school work and my 2 younger boys are playing together. They are all being so sweet and it's peaceful in my house right now. This is one of those mushy moments. I look at those 5 little stinkers and think to myself "How could I possibly be done having children?". I just can't. We have a while until we can have any more (finances, vehicle situation, The Navy etc.), but I know I'm not done. If I am to believe I have a purpose, this is most definitely it. Being a mom.

Last night my husband and I had one of those moments where we had a good reminder of just how sweet our children can be. He went to the kids rooms to check on them shortly before we went to bed. Wyatt, our 4 year old, had his stuffed dog and stuffed bear (who he HAS to sleep with every night) carefully tucked in beside him, each with their own little blanket. We were completely mush. It was just so absolutely sweet and adorable. Then, this morning, while breastfeeding my daughter in her nursery, she looks at me, smiled a big smile and said "mama", then went back to nursing. Again, completely MUSH.

What have they done to me? What have they done to us? Whatever it is, I don't mind at all.