This was an actual conversation tonight with my husband. You probably don't want to read it.
He called me tonight for a little bit before he went to bed (He's at a Navy school right now.) The conversation we had was very typical of us... That is the sad part.
T - So, while I was in school today I was like "man, my belly hurts. I need to go to the bathroom." It was just a little small bathroom because of the area of the building I was in.
Me - ... and you took a huge dump, right?
T - Well, no. I had so much gas! I let out this LONG fart, it just kept going *insert fart imitating noises here*. When I stopped farting, almost immediately the automatic air freshener triggered. It was the funniest thing. Perfect timing.
Me - ... and you totally laughed out loud, all by yourself in the bathroom didn't you?
T - Yes, yes I did.
Me - I knew it!
This is why we couldn't be married to anyone but each other.