Saturday, December 10, 2011

The cashier at Target, asked me about my Vagina.

Yup, the cashier basically asked me about my Vagina.

Our trip to Target today left me with 2 things. I was reminded just how awful people can be and I have also come to the realization that Target doesn't always hire the best employees. This isn't my first issue with Target, which makes me sad. As I've said before, we go to Target at least weekly and I actually like going there, or I did at least. I am seriously considering finding somewhere else to shop after today.

Today we went to the Target in Waterford, CT, which is the closest one to us, to finish up Christmas/Christmas Party/Birthday party shopping. When we were done shopping, we went to checkout. I went to a register a few lanes over from my husband because I was buying a few small stocking stuffers for the kids and didn't want the older boys to see them. He was with the older 4 boys and I had the little ones with me. The cashier was someone I have seen just about every time we've been there. She looked at the cart with Annabella in the seat and Declan inside his carseat in cart. She commented on having 2 little ones and it being a lot. I smiled and told her those were my 2 youngest and my husband was checking out a few lanes over with my other 4. She immediately looked horrified and said "You have 6!?" I smiled again and said yes. Now, her looking horrified, I'm totally used to that. I see it a lot when people realize I have a lot of kids. However, one thing she said, I have read online SO many times and heard endless jokes about it, but of all of the rude comments I have gotten, I've never had anyone actually say or ask this in person. First she said "Wow, that's a lot of babies to be having." and THEN said "So, is it true that they can just walk right out of there after having like 4?" What!? Did she REALLY just ask that? She just asked me about my Vagina! This isn't even one of those questions they expect an answer to, no. This is one those haha you have a lot of kids so your vag must be so loose and floppy kind of questions. My usually quick witted and sarcastic self was so completely floored by the ginormous balls this girl had, that I was unable to come up with anything at all. In fact, it took a few seconds before I picked my jaw up off the floor and was only able to answer "No... it's not quite like that after having many babies...". She just got a cocky little smirk then told me I looked too young to have that many kids. I told her I am not as young as I look and walked away to meet my husband who was finishing checking out.

I was so absolutely floored that she actually said that to me and with another customer right there to boot! I went from floored, to embarrassed after we had loaded the kids up in the Econoline and were leaving. My husband turned around and went back to talk to the manager because the more we thought about it, the more it fully clicked that what she said was not ok. We are really easy going but she is a cashier that doesn't even know us and to top it off, she clearly wasn't trying to joke with me. We weren't having a friendly conversation  about having babies or anything or the sort. What she said was vulgar and inappropriate.

My husband went back into Target and spoke to the manager, Bradley Sher****. The manager said "I usually like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but that comment was pretty clearly not taken out of context." He agreed it was inappropriate etc. and told my husband he would "talk to her about customer service". That's it? I don't even know what I was expecting or hoping for... but... that's it. I feel wronged, I kind of feel violated and I certainly am embarrassed.

Are Target employees not trained about sexual harassment and inappropriate behavior? Heck, maybe I'll ask my ex husband, he's worked there before. Aren't they made aware that making crude, rude, vulgar or otherwise discriminatory comments to customers as well as co-workers is not ok? I just don't think it's ok. I feel as if it would have been a bigger deal if it was a racial or religious comment she made. It's the same to me. "So, is it true that Asian people <insert ridiculous offensive stereotype here>?" or "So, is it true that when you're Catholic <insert ridiculous offensive stereotype here>?" I feel discriminated against. She singled me out because I am not within the "norm" and have many children. She made a rude and offensive comment because of my "minority", if you will. Lets add the element of it being a veiled reference (and insult) to my vagina. That could fall under sexual harassment. She not only said what she did to me, but in front of another customer as well. That embarrasses me and makes me feel belittled for having many children, that much more. This wasn't a friend joking around with me, this was a Target employee who I do not know at all. I can joke and be crude, rude and sarcastic with the best of them. But what she said, in the setting she said it in, was just too much. Never mind the fact that she was obviously not trying to just be playful and failed miserably. She was just being blatantly rude.

I am not sure what I am looking for here. I just don't feel like it has been adequately handled. I feel... violated.


Butterflies253 said...

Omg. How incredibly rude! I'd feel the same way if I were in your shoes. I actually do work at target and can vouch that we are trained on harassment, at least target portrait studio employees are. I hope she at least got written up for her rude, unprofessional behavior. I'm glad your hubby stood up for you! Good man.

IMakeLotsOfBabies said...

I assumed there was some kind of training. I still can't get over how someone can think it's ok to say that to a stranger.

RAY J said...

Wow! She sure had some balls... and nerve!

Sure, it's one thing to think it, but to actually say that to a customer?! Holy crap! She definitely deserves a write-up/warning to say the very least! I would NEVER ask that to any of my customers with lots of kids!

Evelyn @ HauteMilk said...

I don't think she has balls, it sounds more like she is a complete idiot.

Next time you're there pick her lane again and just kill her with kindness :-)

rosie said...

I have 5 children and we were at a restaurant and the server said to me "you just had to keep on trying until you had your girl" She also said "wow she must have just walked on out" I was left speechless as well. I just do not understand some people.

IMakeLotsOfBabies said...

My daughter was my 5th and I got that girl comment a LOT until and after I had her. Now people finally stopped using that one since I had another boy after her.