Friday, February 24, 2012

One of *those* days

You know those days where you're cranky because of a bunch of insignificant little annoying things? THEN just when your annoyance level begins to level out, you come across something that just makes you want to punch a hole on your laptop? Yeah, that's me today.

I didn't just see one thing, but TWO things that really just got under my skin. It has irritated me to a level that is logically unreasonable, but it still did. One good thing about it though, it gave me a new appreciation for my very real and open portrayal of myself and my life, online. When you know how someone is and then you stumble across their blog and it's loaded with FAKE, oh my... it's frustrating. It is to me anyway. I shouldn't even care, but alas, I do.

I don't try to pretend I'm something I'm not. I'm a pain in the ass. I'm a clean freak and I'm an organization freak. It drives my husband crazy. I can cook and bake pretty well, but I'm no Martha Stewart. I'm crafty, but I'm not some amazing crafting visionary. 90% of the time I look like complete crap. I need to lose weight and because of that I barely own any clothes that fit... but when I go shopping I just want to cry looking at how terrible I look in everything, so I don't buy anything that does fit me. I really have no sense of fashion either. I'm perfectly content rocking my chucks and a pair of black pants or jeans with a sweatshirt. I do try to look good when I go out, but I can only look so good when I don't have any nice clothes lol. Hair and make-up only goes so far. But anyway, now that I've given everyone a picture of just how much of a hot mess I am... back to the point. I'm far from perfect, my kids are normal kids and my husband... is a man. Raising my children, homeschooling them, keeping my house clean, cooking meals and taking care of my husband, is all far more important to me than trying to be a fashionista or the most popular blogger. I'm ok with the fact that people aren't looking to me for fashion tips or for the next best home decor idea. I'm ok with the fact that my life doesn't come across as something to be jealous of. At this time in my life, my children are my focus. I'd rather be here with them than trying to go out and pretend I'm someone else.

At the end of the day, I do have something to show for what I do. I can be proud of how my children behave when we go places. I can be proud of myself for keeping the home in order while my husband works. I can be proud of the job I'm doing educating my children. I can be proud that I have focused on what really matters and not on an image that I want to portray.


Now, I should probably go try to squeeze a shower in, so I don't start to stink.