I'll take the time now, to apologize to my sons future wives.
I'm sorry they have so much gas. That's their father's fault.
I'm sorry they are so goofy. That is also their fathers fault.
I'm sorry that they are clean freaks... or total pigs... I assume either one of those will be my fault because I'm a clean freak.
I am SO sorry they think women don't fart. I really am. I just can't do it in front of anyone... I tell them women do, but they don't believe me.
I'm sorry they eat so much. Judging by their father, I don't foresee them outgrowing that.
I'm sorry they are sarcastic turds. You can blame that on me AND their dad.
I'm sorry they are computer nerds. That is also the fault of both their dad and I.
I'm really sorry if they still think all women wear "tiny underwear" (thongs) when they meet you. I'm still working on that one..
*EDIT* If any of them happen to be gay, most of this still applies lol.
I'm sure I have much more to be sorry for. I imagine I'll have to do this again eventually.