Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Thinking out loud

This is something I've thought about for a few years now and I've briefly discussed with my husband a few times. Money and the number of children we have, leave us always assuming it's not even a possibility.


I've had this desire to adopt, even if it's just one child, for a few years now. We may not be perfect, but I know my husband and I provide a loving and stable home to our children. There are so many children out there who don't have that and I feel this tug at my heart to give one of them a family. Right now, we already have 6 of our own. I know I've heard of families with several adopted children, who have 12.. or 15 kids. I know even people with large families still do it. I want to know how. I want to know how these families get past the dismissal because of family size?

Another concern of mine is being a military family. My husband has nearly 7 years until he plans to retire. I know this is another obstacle to get past. How much harder would this make it?

I understand foster care is one way that makes the process a little easier and also more affordable. That brings me back to the military family part. I'm not sure foster care would be an option because of our family size already. Then of course there is the moving around. We'd have to find a way to remain in one state.

This is me just "thinking out loud" really. I have absolutely no idea if it's something within reach for us. I'd love to hear from big families who have done this. If you are one or if you know someone who has, please email me if you're willing to share your experience. OrganizedChaosBlogs (at) gmail dot com

1 comment:

Claire said...

We have thought about this a lot too. I have a friend who adopted two boys in Washington State, and I know they were only allowed to have six children under age 12. That was a foster care rule, and their boys came to them as foster children and were adopted later. I really don't know if that is just a state rule, or if it for foster care everywhere. It makes sense though, because the military daycare (FCC) has the same requirement....only six under twelve. Once your oldest is thirteen, he doesn't count though.

Military families can, and do adopt all the time. The only issue I've heard of is with the moving. Once you start the homestudy process and all that, you really want to stay where you are. I thought maybe if we started right away when we arrived at a new duty station that would give us plenty of time to work with. Military housing will also give you a larger home for foster children, although you (like us) have already maxed out your bedroom options anyway. Although when we were living at Keesler AFB there were two families on our street with ten kids each, and they had been given connecting duplexes. So seven bedrooms, two kitchens, etc. I guess you just never know!

We've also considered international adoption, and that is tricky because the rules always seem to be changing. A friend in Groton actually adopted a beautiful baby boy from Korea, and only waited about six months. I believe it has gotten longer now though. You'd just have to look up each country and see what their requirements are. Some will waive rules for special needs kids, and "special needs" can be serious, or can just mean they are a bit older or part of a sibling group. Matt and I have prayed specifically about adopting a child who is HIV positive. I didn't realize until a few years ago that with regular medical care those kids can have normal healthy lives. And there are just so many of them, both in our country and in Africa.

Anyway, I am far from an expert, but I share your interest in the topic, and I do hope that one day it will be a reality for our family.