Thursday, May 3, 2012

Reflecting: I'm tougher than they thought

A blog post I read today, made me think about what it was like when my husband and I were first married. I was immediately swept away, hundreds of miles from family, friends and everything I knew. Set down in a new place, that I didn't know and my husband almost immediately had to leave. It was a little bit of a shock for a 19 year old with a baby. However, it was all so quick, I didn't even have time to be sad or scared. I just did what I had to do.

That command he reported to back then, not too long down the road, had commented that I wasn't cut out to be a military wife and we eventually wouldn't work out. Maybe I appeared fragile to them? I imagine I was. I grew, though. In the years we've been married, we have PCS'd 5 times (some with as little as 12 days notice), we've had a herd of children, endured miscarriages, made it through a rocky start to our relationship, weathered a very bad command and my husband was in a nearly fatal (not an exaggeration) pedestrian vs. motor vehicle accident, in which he was the pedestrian (an SUV hit him going about 45 MPH)... Just to name a few...

That accident was what showed me what I was really made of. I suddenly had a husband in the ICU and we had a baby and a toddler. I had to find people to watch the kids so I could see him in the hospital, deal with the police, deal with the Navy side of it because he wasn't conscious to talk to anyone and did it all with no family, no friends and no help from his command. I felt completely alone, but instead of breaking, I found strength within myself to pull it all together. When he came home from the hospital, he had several broken bones/casts, so he couldn't go to the bathroom without help, he couldn't shower without help... he couldn't do anything without my help. I did it... We did it. We made it through that, which was an incredibly difficult time for many reasons. We have made it through many difficult military related things as well. When things get thrown at us, whether it being by the Navy or just life in general, we take it head on and find our way through it. Together.

I definitely think there are women far better at this whole lifestyle than I am. I'm not social enough, I'm a little too shy at first and I'm a little more dependent than I should be when he's around. However, when I am faced with something difficult, I buck up and deal. I have proven to myself that I am tougher than that command gave me credit for. I'm a decent Navy wife. I'm supportive, loyal and I listen when he needs it. The kids and I have packed up and followed him everywhere the Navy has needed us to go. I might not be as graceful as some, but I do it with a smile on my face.

I'm a Proud Navy Wife.

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