Tuesday, February 12, 2013

How to take little kids out to play in the snow - AKA "slow torture"

Moms and Dads, any of you who have bundled up kids, especially toddlers and young children to go play in the snow... you all know what I'm talking about here.

Lets begin...

First, if you're so lucky to have thought ahead and have all of the snow pants, jackets and gloves together and readily available, then this part isn't so bad. Otherwise, you must go frantically searching the house/garage/vehicle, while the kids whine to go out, looking for everything. Tell everyone to go pee! Even if they do, they will need to again once they are dressed, don't worry.

Once you get everything together, now it's time to bundle them up. Oh this part is fun. You begin to break a sweat as you struggle to get their boots on and the snow pants on properly, so that snow doesn't get up in their pants or down into their boots. "Mommy! My socks feel funny!" "My pants are twisted!"

Then the gloves and jacket are equally as fun. You also want these on properly to keep their hands and arms warm and dry. "My sleeve in bunched up! Ahhhhhhhhh!" "My fingers are in the same hole!" "Heeeeelp!"

Lets not forget the hat and hood! You need to keep those heads and necks warm and dry too! "My hair feels funny!" "You buttoned the hood too tight!" "I can't see!" "I'm hot!"

Finally! They are dressed and ready to go out into the snow!!!

"I have to pee!" Take them pee... and start over again.

Ok NOW, an hour later, they are ready to go outside!

Yay! They are having fun! They are diving through the snow and laughing and happy! Oh. Em. Gee... This was so worth all of the trouble! Woohoo!

About 2 minutes later, the youngest will begin to cry because it's too cold. The only thing to do, is to hold him, in his 50 lbs of snow gear, so you can watch the rest of the kids have fun. But then the other toddler is pissed that she can't walk through the snow because it's too deep, so you have the little toddler on one hip (but it really feels like you are toting around a grown man with all of the damn snow gear) while using your other hand to lift her tiny body with the 65 lbs of snow gear through the snow.

Within minutes, a kid is crying that their hands are cold, another gets snow up their sleeve, another falls face first into the snow... 15 blissful minutes in the snow and the little ones are saying screw this, I want to go inside.

The undressing process, while stressful, is much easier than getting them dressed. "Come on guys, you look like you're ready for a nap!"

"Did you have fun!? I bet you did! SNOW IS SO FUN!!!!!"

Well, Mom and/or Dad, you just had one hell of a workout, go eat some chocolate. Seriously, go eat some before you hurt someone.

                                                          Don't they look THRILLED?

When do we get stationed in the South again?


Claire said...

That is just like my kids, and they want to do the whole thing 4-5 times a day. I don't know if I could survive a tour in Alaska.

IMakeLotsOfBabies said...

It just isn't fun for me lol.