Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Just Thinking

I'm sitting here a little down, missing my husband and annoyed that my husband's sister is a wack-a-doo, having her friends spread lies and be hateful toward us for no reason. I guess it makes her feel good? Who knows. 

Anyway. I'm just doing a lot of thinking. We're trying to mentally prepare for my husband to be leaving soon. We have spent the last 2 years with an incredibly difficult schedule (he is basically never here anyway) and that leads into him going to sea. It's part of his job, but still makes us so sad. My husband is very literally my best friend. He is the one person who completely gets me and accepts me and loves me for exactly who I am, just the way I am. My quirkiness is part of why he loves me.

I am thinking about how I have never quite felt like I fit... anywhere. I have a handful of people who I consider friends and I care about them and I think they care about me. But I still don't feel like I "fit", which leads to me feeling pretty lonely. I just feel like an outsider over all. I am *so* thankful for the people who can accept that we are Atheist and still love us even though they are devout Christians and those who aren't bothered by my piercings or funky hair. I just wish I felt like I fit and can still be me. I removed my piercings years ago because I thought it would help, but I have realized it's just me, not my appearance really. Over the years that I have been a Navy Wife, I have become close to a few people who wound up really hurting me in the end. So I think there is a degree of fear also.

For the most part I'm an open book. I am honest to a fault. I am loyal to a fault sometimes too. I'm generally quiet, but my upfront approach with my thoughts and feelings is abbrasive or a bother to some. That has made me withdraw a bit and be more quiet. I care, feel and love fiercely. That also means I can hold onto past hurt like no other. Hey, I'm far from perfect. On the flip side of that though, I try so hard to show people that I care when I can.

I'm not even entirely sure where I am going with this rambling, really. So I apologize for the mental vomit here before you.

I never thought that at my age I would still feel so out of place. I know I am not the best friend a person could have. But I really honestly have so much on my plate. I just hope people realize I don't mean to be so absent. I am so very happy with the things that do keep my plate full though. I guess I just wish I wasn't left with a lonely outsider feeling when my husband, my best friend, can't be around.

My final thought.... What kind of fulfillment do people get from hurting others intentionally? Are there actually people who get the "warm fuzzies" from talking badly about others, making up lies and just being hateful? Those are the people I don't ever want to fit in with, if so.

Thanks for reading my rambling. I love you all :).

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Measure of Success

Different people measure success in different ways. Some people measure success by how much money you make, some by how many awards you have, some by how famous you are... Success is so much more than that, yet so simple. 

In the end, in the big scheme of things when you're old and you're nearing the end of your life, money, fame, awards, none of that will matter. That job evaluation wont matter. The nice car you have wont matter. The cushy bank account wont matter. The relationships with the people who love you are what will matter. Those relationships need to be nurtured all through your life. When the wrong definition of success is what you're striving to achieve, those relationships will suffer.

Yes, you need to be successful in your job so you can live. But a balance must be made. The people who love you have to be a priority for true success. If you're doing excellent at work, but neglecting the people who love you, are you really successful

I happen to be writing this on September 11th. The 12th anniversary of the attack in New York. It is especially in the forefront of my mind today that the people we love the most, might not always be there. Tomorrow is not promised. Don't forget to nurture the relationships with the people who love you. Don't forget to make that phone call just to say "I love you". Don't forget to put them first, often. Don't forget to leave work, at work. Don't forget to go home to the people who love you with a smile and a good attitude, even if you had a bad day. Don't forget to show them that they matter. Don't forget to listen. Live in a manner that if you lost one of those people who love you too soon, that you will not have regrets and you'll know they felt like a priority and felt loved.

Get your mind in the right place and really, truly be successful

Thursday, September 5, 2013

There is clearly a disconnect here

I don't like to talk about politics on my blog or at all really, but this is something that is bothering me.

There is clearly a disconnect between the US military and a good portion of the nation. Quotes and comments I have seen, in regards to the possible strike are disheartening to say the least. Insensitivity, disregard for the military and sheer ignorance is what much of it has been.

A lot of people have the misconception that action like this is no big deal for the military/military families and wont have much of an impact at all. It is a big deal and it will have an impact! A strike like this has the potential to become something bigger than the president wants us to believe. That means it has the potential to take the lives of more of our military members. Who are still out risking their lives and being killed in Afghanistan by the way... Things like this also cost a lot of money. The military has already been cut and reduced in numbers because the government lacks the necessary money.

So, this comment from Barbara Starr, CNN Pentagon Correspondent has me pretty annoyed. You'd think she would be a little more connected to reality with the job title that she holds.
"...I don't think it's really going to affect military families at all. This is going to be, if it is ordered, a cruise missile strike, no U.S. troops on the ground, Navy ships out in the eastern Mediterranean that would be on deployment anyhow."
Oh really?

Then you have those clever marketing people who are so insensitive that they would use the president's catch phrase "No boots on the ground" to sell things.

Come on now.... What poor taste....

Anyway, back to my original point. A large portion of our country is obviously disconnected from the military and their families.

Please take a moment to remember that our military members are not robots or empty beings. Our military are husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters.... They are people. People who chose to serve our country and keep us safe and protected. Those of us that love people in the military are reminded every day of this. When the potential for military action arises, it tugs at our hearts and we feel a pit in our stomach knowing that if it happens, it will affect us in one way or another. A military strike against another country is not something that is no big deal. It's not like running an errand on the way home. It is also not something that is funny, witty or otherwise good to mock in the name of business.

ETA: This has nothing to do with my opinion on whether it should be done or not. That is a whole other subject that I do not plan to get into on my blog :).